Tuesday, June 16, 2009

Dear Choward's Lemon,

[photo via bestbuycandy]

Dear Choward's Lemon,

I was aware of your bizarrely-flavored cousin, Choward's Violet (both "mints," though they are really just pastilles, and gum) via an old-timey-candy searching expedition I took once to find Black Jack chewing gum (licorice flavored, incidentally, and surprisingly good to me, someone who does not typically care for black licorice). Your violet relative is good. I was not, however, aware that you, the lemon version, even existed, until I saw you the other day when I was buying a $4 umbrella due to a sudden cloudburst. "Lemon Choward's?" I said to my wet self. "This is just the thing for a rainy day."

Or any day, it turns out. You are just tart enough to be lemony, but just sweet enough to be candy. Just hard enough to suck on, but just bite-able enough to bite through when I inevitably get bored of sucking on you. Plus, you look old-timey enough that I feel like I'm in a History Channel re-enactment of, like, a murder at a candy store. Which I think would be fun.

Keep on tangin',


Emily said...

I feel like "Keep on Tangin'" was the name of a porno I once saw or something....