Friday, May 8, 2009

Dear Annoying People at Work

[photo by: bite me]

Dear Annoying People at Work,

You fucking suck. I don't just mean, "you suck" like, "hey man, you suck!" but rather in the, "hey, you aren't good at that...actually, you suck" kinda way. Maybe I'm just burnt out - we've basically spent the last ten years together and now that the end is in sight, I am so totally sick of you.

If you aren't a singer, why do you think you should be when you step on my stage? You fancy yourself a dancer, eh? Good for you! Please don't come to me with your bullshit improv - I dance like that in my bedroom, that's where that dance belongs, not on stage...don't you see? You really want to recite your poem about buttons? Buttons?!? Really?!? If you want to sing without instruments why do you try to make your voice sound like a guitar? A bad guitar? Playing louder doesn't trick the audience into thinking you're good. Capoeira is probably a lot of fun to take part in. It's not so fun to watch, ya'll. When the audience leaves, that's a bad thing. You get that right?

Listen, it's my policy that a person can be an asshole if he/she is good at what they do. Conversely, if you are bad at what you do, you better be real nice. It is a huge fail to be a giant dick while also sucking at your job, huge.

Annoying People at Work, the thing is, I need the money. Lately tho, I just don't know if I need it THIS bad. Just two more months to go; please stop sucking a little bit.



steph said...

ha not an unknown feeling

Movie Maven said...

will live in infamy forever.