Dear Rock of Ages,
At first, I liked you, Rock of Ages. I was like “You know what? I wanna rock. Hit me with your best shot, Rock of Ages.” So I went. And in the heat of the moment, I enjoyed it. You were silly and fun and I figured everyone would see you as nothin’ but a good time.
But then, you know what happened, Rock of Ages? You went to Broadway. And just like every cowboy sings a sad, sad song, you changed from a stupid, albeit well-constructed, karaoke revue to a musical nominated for a Tony Award. I can’t fight this feeling anymore, Rock of Ages – the feeling that you are a harbinger of doom for American musical theater. Because now people are gonna keep on lovin’ you and not support more original works.
But you know what, fans of actual musicals? We built this city. We built this city on well-crafted stories and dynamite lyrics and gorgeous composing and stellar orchestration, not on a 3-chord 80s power ballad. Contrary to popular belief, we did not build this city on rock and roll. So don’t stop believin’. Heaven isn't too far away.
Yours in quality,
Anna
8 comments:
this letter is brilliance I tell you
I am mucho impressed. Totally hilarious!
Best letter to a thing so far, Anna.
I love your pseudo-love letter! However, let me tell you that Rock of Ages has a bit more cred that most craptacular jukebox shows. Think of it more like a Wright & Forrest show. Yeah we'd rather new scores, but in a pinch...
CAN YOU BE A PROFESSIONAL WRITER?
CAN YOU BE A PROFESSIONAL WRITER?
CAN YOU BE A PROFESSIONAL WRITER?
I think if you say a thing three times, that thing comes true.
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