Thursday, May 7, 2009

Dear PediPaws,

[photo by honestlyican'trememberwhereifoundit]

Dear PediPaws,

I should have known not to trust the "As Seen on TV" section of Walgreens.

I guess I was just really hoping you could help me with the difficult task of trimming my cats' nails. And let's be honest. Your packaging is kinda cute. Your instructional pamphlet, very informative. I was even amused that you recommended turning on the PediPaws for a few minutes to let the animals "get acquainted with the sound." Umm, I don't know if this was written for the lazy country bumpkin type of animal, but let's be real here. These are fast-paced - free-wheeling - live on the 1st floor of a walk-up in New York City - city cats....and I've got vibrators louder than this.

Here's what you failed to mention in your pamphlet or tv commercial: Animals don't like having their exposed claws put into a wand with a file spinning a mile a minute. I even tried it myself to make sure it wouldn't hurt them. I would not stick my finger in there again.*

Here's hoping the next person I date is a cat groomer.


*This blog is classier than a "that's what she said joke," but I will acknowledge that no better setup will ever exist in life.


Movie Maven said...

Those country bumpkin cats don't know what they're missing.

Your Ill-fitting Overcoat said...

Best. Letter. Ever.