Tuesday, May 26, 2009

Dear Universe,

[photo courtesy mishwad]

Dear Universe,

Okay, I get it. I must have done something really, really bad in a previous life. Maybe I was the guy who guillotined people in the French Revolution. Maybe I am Jack the Ripper reincarnated. Perhaps I poisoned people, laughed at single mothers and the elderly, or invented lucite. I messed up. I'm sorry. But please, for the love of all that is holy, do you have to keep making me run into my ex and his awful new girlfriend every other day? I might have been bad in a past life, but I've changed. I'm an organ donor! I like puppies! I tell people that the camera adds 10 pounds and that to me they've never looked thinner. Please do me a solid and stop all these chance encounters. It's not "Serendipity." It's not cute. Shut it down.

Thanks in advance,