Friday, May 15, 2009

Dear Neighborhood Coffee Spot,

[photo courtesy seanbonner]

Dear neighborhood coffee spot,

Come on. All these beautiful unwashed hipsters writing on their MacBooks, Stumptown Coffee cuppings (complete with latte art), artistic-looking baristas who wear windbreakers indoors, your darling pressed tin ceiling - it's just all too much. Please, for the love of God, make one thing in this place not a cliche of itself. You look like central casting for Survivor: Williamsburg.

It's a thin line between love and hate,

PS. Please, however, don't touch the insanely old-timey music on the iPod. I don't care if you like it in an ironic way, or you do it to impress the girls, or because hipsters have ruined EVERY OTHER OLD-TIMEY MUSIC and this is the last vestige of non-coolness you have yet to appropriate. It's been far too long since I heard any Jo Stafford or Riders of the Purple Sage outside of the comfort of my own record player.