Dear Ford Focus,
Thank you for being my savior last night. Although the timing was not ideal, you stood strong and withstood the wee hours of the night to be there for me. I brought my flimsy blanket from inside the house, parked you a few streets away, and you comforted me from 6-9 am. Although I am a bit stiff today, you stood by me when I was perhaps drunk, and definitely unhappy. What would I do without you?
This month, you are going to receive a special surprise!
What would you like? A deluxe oil change? Detailing? Some big fuzzy dice to hang from your beautiful mirror?
Honestly, I haven’t had the conversation with you yet regarding your sexual orientation. I don’t even know if you’re a man or a woman. But if you are a Man-Mobile, and would like one of those cheesy half-naked Playmate Air Fresheners - this month, it will be Yours!