Dear Guy Who Works Two Cubes Down From Me,
Please stop following me with your eyes every time I walk past your desk. Please stop lounging by my cube, pretending to talk to the guy next to me. Please stop making me talk to you about banal bullshit after I tell you that I'm late for the bus. Please stop creepily remembering every single thing I've ever said to you.
And, most of all, please stop inviting me to that cheap Tex-Mex chain for lunch. The shrimp chimichangas will never stop tasting like lemon-scented Dawn and you? You will never see me naked.
Respectfully,
Laurie
Wednesday, April 15, 2009
Dear Guy Who Works Two Cubes Down From Me,
Posted by Laurie Stark at 1:40 PM
ARCHIVE!
-
▼
2009
(159)
-
▼
April
(59)
- Dear Triceratops,
- Dear Barbeque Place Near My House,
- Dear Vintage Warehouse One Block From My Apartment,
- Dear Mossimo Supply Company Cheetah Print Flats,
- Dear Stoli,
- Dear Josh Lyman,
- Dear Peter DeWolf,
- Dear Maternity Clothing Boutique Next to My Apartm...
- Dear Capri Sun & Bandit Wine,
- Dear Susan G. Komen Foundation,
- Dear 15 Pounds,
- Dear Scallops,
- Dear Shoes I Bought on a Whim Cause They Were 1/2 ...
- Dear Gritz to Glitz Podcast,
- Dear Snickers,
- Dear Haley Joel Osment,
- Dear Simone,
- Dear Brooklyn Flea,
- Dear Letters to Things,
- Dear Capri Sun,
- Dear My Life,
- Dear Weekend,
- Dear Scotch,
- Dear Plantronics CS55 Headset with Optional HL10 L...
- Dear Guy Who Works Two Cubes Down From Me,
- Dear Cute Dudes Who Are Shorter Than Me,
- Dear Jonathan Taylor Thomas,
- Dear Rupert Brooke,
- Dear Google Maps,
- Dear Facebook and Myspace,
- Dear Staff Meeting,
- Dear Couscous,
- Dear Passion Cove Softcore Porn Series,
- Dear Aunt Carol and Uncle Peter's Swanky Apartment...
- Dear Chicken Caesar Salad Wrap from the Moonrock D...
- Dear Subway Car that Smelled like Urine,
- Dear New York Times,
- Dear Gossip Girl,
- Dear Cooper Black,
- Dear Danny McBride,
- Dear Hugh Laurie,
- Dear Taye Diggs (who should date me),
- Dear Greg Sestero (aka "Mark" from The Room)
- Dear Bobby Moynihan,
- Letters to People Who Should Date Us Monday
- Dear Sunday Night,
- Dear Pasta,
- Dear Tommy Wiseau's The Room,
- Dear Food,
- Dear Bedazzle Nail Decals I Got for Free,
- Dear American Apparel,
- Dear Jetblue,
- Dear Paycheck,
- Dear Japanese Tourists,
- Dear MTA,
- Dear Power G,
- Dear Whore Who Threw Away My Peanut Butter,
- Dear Ford Focus In Which I Slept Last Night,
- Dear April Fool's Day,
-
▼
April
(59)
SUBMIT YOUR LETTERS!
3 comments:
Ugh... Creepy.
plan: every time you feel him near - pretend to make absurd and gross phone calls.
Example 1: "Another yeast infection! Thanks Doctor, another round of antibiotics please."
Example 2: "NO mom I WONT come home this weekend to shave your back - it's Jeremy's turn!"
I was going to suggest some countermeasures as well, but Kinslerbot's are too perfect. This guy needs to get TOLD something.
Post a Comment