Tuesday, April 21, 2009

Dear Snickers,

[photo courtesy dcapistrano]
Dear Snickers,

I didn't intend for this to happen. I pressed E1 with the full intention of getting a Kit Kat, which, for some reason, I pretend are "better" for me than other candy bars. But I misread the labeling system on the vending machine and ended up with you in my hand.

Your ads have been the source of much mirth and frustration for me lately. They're not as hatred-inspiring as that one a couple of years ago, the one with the words that were not based on any actual words, like "SATISFECTELLENT." No, these ones are both far better and far worse. "Get dunked on by Patrick Chewing" made me chuckle. "Snaxi" was kind of cute. But "Chewmute" took me a whole day to decipher*, and "Overthrow the Hungerment with a Chew d'Etat" is just, well, a mouthful.

But you know what? None of this matters now, Snickers. Because your combination of chewy caramel, soft nougat, crunchy peanuts, and smooth, rich milk chocolate is just what my afternoon needed. I'm glad that stupid vending machine was poorly labeled.

I love chew,

*it was on the side of a bus, if that helps.


lucklys said...

yes. i love reading and trying to figure out the snickers ads. i smile at half and scratch my head at the rest, but i think they're pretty genius.

Your Ill-fitting Overcoat said...

I wish I could hate a Snickers.

But, well, let's just say they can Chew d'etat me any day of the week. Especially if you supply the quarters.

Thomas said...

Yeah, this whole ad campaign seems weird to me. I didn't know what it was for a long time.