Monday, April 13, 2009

Dear Jonathan Taylor Thomas,


Dear Jonathan Taylor Thomas,

I don't really think you should date me now but when I was in middle school I would have given my right kidney to have one hour with you at Chuckie Cheese or the Mall Food Court. As a blossoming twelve-year old I watched Home Improvement daily just to glimpse your brown, middle-parted, flowy hair. I even had a Tiger Beat poster of you on my ceiling (creepy, I know).

I was in love.

And then Brooke (the 7th grade bully) told me you were gay. I died a little that day.

So Jonathan, or JTT as I called you back then. If I could go back in time 10 + years I would tell you that you should date me. Because besides being captain of the volleyball team, and wearing umbro shorts almost everyday, I was your girl.

Pubescently Yours,
Lauren

5 comments:

Movie Maven said...

UMBRO SHORTS REFERENCE FTW

Your Ill-fitting Overcoat said...

Is he really gay???????

Also: TIGER BEAT FTW.

Kinslerbot said...

I don't actually think he is ga, but it was so traumatizing I immediately found a new crush -- Michael J Fox I think?

Alanna said...

Where in the world is JTT now?

wendy said...

Love it! My friend and I used to go on AOL chatrooms circa 1994 and tell kids we were JTT. It was probably kind of cruel.

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