Dear Scotch,

[photo courtesy tsep!]

Dear Scotch,

I remember when we were first introduced: sans rocks, single malt, overpriced. We were introduced by the creepy fat guy I was so fascinated with, even though I knew he was a pathological liar and a sociopath. I drank you to impress him, and because I loved alcohol.

Now, five years later: on the rocks, soda water, lemon juice, bottom shelf. Always my drink of choice. You make better every hard day at work, every party, every sunny day on the patio. You make my teenager almost tolerable. You've lasted longer than almost all of my relationships, and have made me cry less often. You complete me.

... but could you please start coming in 5 gallon buckets?

Your girl forever,
Steph